Good Bye?

This might be goodbye. I don't feel it anymore. It's as if I have nothing more to say. I find less and less reasons to get out of bead. And no, it's not depression, but I am afraid that if I get sucked into cyberspace once more, it might just become that.

I borrowed the photo from my cousins blog, cause it looks kind of like how I feel at the moment!

I tried to go away once, and it didn't work - just couldn't stay away. Having the need to tell everybody that I am going away, probably will spell out failure again, but what can I do? I'm just being me.

If I don't come back, bare in mind that I had a great time with you, my lovely friends, sharing thoughts and photos and such. If I manage to stay away, I will miss you. Hugs!

The Loner

I've often been told the saying - a picture is worth a 1000 words, but seeing as I am someone that loves to talk, I never believed it. But today, I can tell you that nothing has ever been closer to the truth.

This is a picture taken at the damn-bridge in Struga, this winter. I call it "The Loner". I feel kind of alone. Like the whole day is... empty.

It's Friday

Yeah, it's Friday. Whoopee! I'd still hate it, no matter what anyone says, it is the start of the weekend and I can't stand those two days. Don't get me wrong, I hate Saturday and Sunday more, but today, it is kind of worse, because it's taunting me, telling me that the weekend is going to run me over and there is nothing I can do about it!

I watched a movie last night. "Set it Off" it's called. It's about a girl stuck in life, with no way out, but the one way she's been trying to avoid forever - the way of crime. After her brother is shot by the cops, by mistake, she decides to go ahead with it anyway. By the end of the story, all her friends are dead, and she is unable to see the man she fell in love with, ever again. When I was little, I would have thought - at least she's free now. Alone, but free. - Not anymore, though. Freedom is not accomplished by running away from things. Instead, it's found by realizing what is most important to you. Someone once told me that people are lonely because they build fences instead of bridges. It's so right. So right!

P.S. A big plus for this movie is that the lead investigator is played by Dr. Cox. He was so funny! :D

It's a Beautiful Morning

It is a beautiful morning, and after a while, I can feel it. It is time for some positive energy to flow around and give smiles to people. That's what I was thinking about when I woke up a little less then an hour ago. There aren't enough smiles in the world.

And don't get me wrong, my attitude towards life and the world hasn't changed, but I decided to look at things from a different perspective today. At least today. I mean, when is the last time that a couple of smiles hurt anybody?

Hugs! :)

Calm Waters

I remember some verses from Tupac Shakur that said:

"Ain't nothing meant to lest forever,
so the struggling and the suffering ain't gonna lest forever"

But when are the calm waters coming? When will I be able to sit down, relax and say - finally, it's all over?

In the meantime, I wrote another poem. Don't ask me why...

Seriously, does anyone else ever had the feeling that they are stuck between the point where everything will be OK, and the point of total collapse and they will never get out of it? Because I have that feeling for a while now. And can't seem to shake it. I can't...

I say good morning to you all, and I hope that you have a way better day than me.

Hugs!

A Contraption

The snow melted. Finally! It made my day. But in the meanwhile I was looking at some pictures of Struga, taken this winter, when there was no snow, but was cold as hell!

I remembered this strange contraption in the front yard of the hospital. I was wondering then, and I am still wondering what the hell is it used for?

Also, I tried to write. Some bad poetry, of course. Here is my first poem "If There Was a Day"

The First Day of Spring

I was kind of hasty yesterday. I was told that today is the first day of spring. Even better. Spring broke out, and here is a photo from the front yard of my cousin's house, taken this morning. It is, what you would call - a typical first day of spring. There's got to be at least 6 inches of snow. God damn it! I did not sign up for this. I was waiting for spring because it's warm and colorful, not to have snow, after surviving the winter with barely any white trash. :/

And on top of it all, it's still the weekend. I won't tell you why I hate it, but I can tell you there is something to do with love, so... Only positive thing I can think of is the fact that the temperature is high enough to melt the stupid snow, and it's doing that. The only problem remains that it won't stop falling!

One can only hope...

Another Stupid Weekend

I have to be the complete opposite of everyone else on the planet. Why? Because I have to be the only one that hates the weekends. There are a lot of reason for this, but let's not get into stupid details at this moment. I also hate the snow that is faling on our town on the first day of spring. I know, I know, I'm a little wierd. But, on the other hand, isn't everybody?

And whatever I wanted to say, it just kind of sliped my mind... Maybe I'll be back, but then, maybe not....

Life, oh Life...

There was a Des Ree song by this title if I remember it correctly. It was voted to be one of the most optimistic songs of all time, alongside "Don't worry, be happy" and "I can see clearly now". I found my self visteling that Des Ree song, and I can't find the reason why? I am not that much of an optimistic person, and yet, I feel good these past few days. It feels like everything is going to fall to it's place, very soon...

To tell you the truth, I wish I was up on that mountain again, with the ability to feel the freedom between the clouds. I would only wish to have one person close to me, so I can hold that hand that means so much to me. This time from the start to the very end of the climb...

Visit Macedonia

My country is actually small. It's about 25.000 square km in total. But it is beautiful. A lot of nice places to visit. Mountains, lakes, old monuments...

So, if you are wondering about an exotic destination for your holiday, don't hesitate anymore. Visit Macedonia. It'll give you some wonderful memories and I think a new perspective on life! :)