Good Bye?

This might be goodbye. I don't feel it anymore. It's as if I have nothing more to say. I find less and less reasons to get out of bead. And no, it's not depression, but I am afraid that if I get sucked into cyberspace once more, it might just become that.

I borrowed the photo from my cousins blog, cause it looks kind of like how I feel at the moment!

I tried to go away once, and it didn't work - just couldn't stay away. Having the need to tell everybody that I am going away, probably will spell out failure again, but what can I do? I'm just being me.

If I don't come back, bare in mind that I had a great time with you, my lovely friends, sharing thoughts and photos and such. If I manage to stay away, I will miss you. Hugs!

It's Friday

Yeah, it's Friday. Whoopee! I'd still hate it, no matter what anyone says, it is the start of the weekend and I can't stand those two days. Don't get me wrong, I hate Saturday and Sunday more, but today, it is kind of worse, because it's taunting me, telling me that the weekend is going to run me over and there is nothing I can do about it!

I watched a movie last night. "Set it Off" it's called. It's about a girl stuck in life, with no way out, but the one way she's been trying to avoid forever - the way of crime. After her brother is shot by the cops, by mistake, she decides to go ahead with it anyway. By the end of the story, all her friends are dead, and she is unable to see the man she fell in love with, ever again. When I was little, I would have thought - at least she's free now. Alone, but free. - Not anymore, though. Freedom is not accomplished by running away from things. Instead, it's found by realizing what is most important to you. Someone once told me that people are lonely because they build fences instead of bridges. It's so right. So right!

P.S. A big plus for this movie is that the lead investigator is played by Dr. Cox. He was so funny! :D

It's a Beautiful Morning

It is a beautiful morning, and after a while, I can feel it. It is time for some positive energy to flow around and give smiles to people. That's what I was thinking about when I woke up a little less then an hour ago. There aren't enough smiles in the world.

And don't get me wrong, my attitude towards life and the world hasn't changed, but I decided to look at things from a different perspective today. At least today. I mean, when is the last time that a couple of smiles hurt anybody?

Hugs! :)

Calm Waters

I remember some verses from Tupac Shakur that said:

"Ain't nothing meant to lest forever,
so the struggling and the suffering ain't gonna lest forever"

But when are the calm waters coming? When will I be able to sit down, relax and say - finally, it's all over?

In the meantime, I wrote another poem. Don't ask me why...

Seriously, does anyone else ever had the feeling that they are stuck between the point where everything will be OK, and the point of total collapse and they will never get out of it? Because I have that feeling for a while now. And can't seem to shake it. I can't...

I say good morning to you all, and I hope that you have a way better day than me.

Hugs!

Life, oh Life...

There was a Des Ree song by this title if I remember it correctly. It was voted to be one of the most optimistic songs of all time, alongside "Don't worry, be happy" and "I can see clearly now". I found my self visteling that Des Ree song, and I can't find the reason why? I am not that much of an optimistic person, and yet, I feel good these past few days. It feels like everything is going to fall to it's place, very soon...

To tell you the truth, I wish I was up on that mountain again, with the ability to feel the freedom between the clouds. I would only wish to have one person close to me, so I can hold that hand that means so much to me. This time from the start to the very end of the climb...

Rocky terrain

Yep, everybody stumbles upon a few (or more) rocks on his path through life. Problems come and go and what's even more important, they will never stop, for anybody, they're just a natural part of life! Come to think of it, they are bigger than life! No matter if you have troubles with your job, your love life, or anything else you can think of... Moaning about them wont change a thing. Contemplations are OK sometimes, but if you start living inside them, you might get lost. When you know things aren't like they should be, it's time for a change!

The first thing to do (and the first thing I did) is evaluating the priorities. Once you know what's most important to you, then you'll know where are you going. The road ahead is quite clear! What I want to say is, when you get to a bunch of rocks you can't overstep, instead of turning around and going back (or worse - stopping and doing nothing!), why not build a quarry? :)

A Moral Dilemma

The unlucky few that follow my blog :P probably had noticed that I was absent for a while from this here virtual and wonderful world of blogging. I have a good reason for that. It's not that I don't like blogging anymore or that I have grown tired (god forbid, I love it more and more every day! :D). It is in fact cause I wanted to help a friend in need. I know, the world is slowly becoming a place where there is less and less people that you can call friends, and therefor, you need to cherish the ones that you have made in your life.

My friend fell in love with a girl that is already in a relationship. It wouldn't be new for him, except this time, she fell in love with him as well. From the start it was clear that they wouldn't end up together, and it was fine, with both of them. Now, he says that he misses her more and more and it seems like the occasional meets that they have are not enough. He needs her more and more. And now, he doesn't know what to do, because he feels so helpless. I guess there is actualy no moral dilemma here, but I started with that tittle because it seemed apropriate when 2 people are sneaking around! :D

What I told him was that if they both decided to enjoy something, then they should do it while being free, like those eagles we saw back in September (click the photo to enlarge), because you can truly own the world only if you are prepared to lose it without any regrets... Should I have told him something else?

Behind the Trees

Have you ever had the feeling, the one that tells you that you just wanna get away from everything? Hide from everybody? I think I did. Last year it was. On that one hike I'll never forget. I felt I could just hide behind the trees and wait for everyone to leave. Then, I'd be free at last! I won't have anyone to answer to, nobody to obey... alone and free.

I stood behind the trees, just for a while. But then, I remembered all the things I was leaving behind and just went on, on the trail. And it's a good thing too. A lot of good things happened since, that are directly connected to those events. I'm guessing what I'm trying to say is - don't try to get away. You can never get away from your self...