Good Bye?

This might be goodbye. I don't feel it anymore. It's as if I have nothing more to say. I find less and less reasons to get out of bead. And no, it's not depression, but I am afraid that if I get sucked into cyberspace once more, it might just become that.

I borrowed the photo from my cousins blog, cause it looks kind of like how I feel at the moment!

I tried to go away once, and it didn't work - just couldn't stay away. Having the need to tell everybody that I am going away, probably will spell out failure again, but what can I do? I'm just being me.

If I don't come back, bare in mind that I had a great time with you, my lovely friends, sharing thoughts and photos and such. If I manage to stay away, I will miss you. Hugs!

It's a Beautiful Morning

It is a beautiful morning, and after a while, I can feel it. It is time for some positive energy to flow around and give smiles to people. That's what I was thinking about when I woke up a little less then an hour ago. There aren't enough smiles in the world.

And don't get me wrong, my attitude towards life and the world hasn't changed, but I decided to look at things from a different perspective today. At least today. I mean, when is the last time that a couple of smiles hurt anybody?

Hugs! :)

Calm Waters

I remember some verses from Tupac Shakur that said:

"Ain't nothing meant to lest forever,
so the struggling and the suffering ain't gonna lest forever"

But when are the calm waters coming? When will I be able to sit down, relax and say - finally, it's all over?

In the meantime, I wrote another poem. Don't ask me why...

Seriously, does anyone else ever had the feeling that they are stuck between the point where everything will be OK, and the point of total collapse and they will never get out of it? Because I have that feeling for a while now. And can't seem to shake it. I can't...

I say good morning to you all, and I hope that you have a way better day than me.

Hugs!

The First Day of Spring

I was kind of hasty yesterday. I was told that today is the first day of spring. Even better. Spring broke out, and here is a photo from the front yard of my cousin's house, taken this morning. It is, what you would call - a typical first day of spring. There's got to be at least 6 inches of snow. God damn it! I did not sign up for this. I was waiting for spring because it's warm and colorful, not to have snow, after surviving the winter with barely any white trash. :/

And on top of it all, it's still the weekend. I won't tell you why I hate it, but I can tell you there is something to do with love, so... Only positive thing I can think of is the fact that the temperature is high enough to melt the stupid snow, and it's doing that. The only problem remains that it won't stop falling!

One can only hope...

Life, oh Life...

There was a Des Ree song by this title if I remember it correctly. It was voted to be one of the most optimistic songs of all time, alongside "Don't worry, be happy" and "I can see clearly now". I found my self visteling that Des Ree song, and I can't find the reason why? I am not that much of an optimistic person, and yet, I feel good these past few days. It feels like everything is going to fall to it's place, very soon...

To tell you the truth, I wish I was up on that mountain again, with the ability to feel the freedom between the clouds. I would only wish to have one person close to me, so I can hold that hand that means so much to me. This time from the start to the very end of the climb...

Rocky terrain

Yep, everybody stumbles upon a few (or more) rocks on his path through life. Problems come and go and what's even more important, they will never stop, for anybody, they're just a natural part of life! Come to think of it, they are bigger than life! No matter if you have troubles with your job, your love life, or anything else you can think of... Moaning about them wont change a thing. Contemplations are OK sometimes, but if you start living inside them, you might get lost. When you know things aren't like they should be, it's time for a change!

The first thing to do (and the first thing I did) is evaluating the priorities. Once you know what's most important to you, then you'll know where are you going. The road ahead is quite clear! What I want to say is, when you get to a bunch of rocks you can't overstep, instead of turning around and going back (or worse - stopping and doing nothing!), why not build a quarry? :)

Sadness

I am sad. Tonight I was suppose to be in the arms that I love the most in the whole world, the only pair that makes me feel I can touch the sky, swim across all the oceans, run across all the lands, feel safe at all times. Tonight I was suppose to be with my love, but I am not. As sometimes happens, I ended up alone for the night, and being the person that I am, I feel empty inside. I always get atached to people to quickly, and when they are unable to be with me, I get sad. I know, this is not smart. But it's just the way I am...

To kill the sadness, I turned to Pink Floyd. I am listening to "Hey You" and "Wish You Were Here". I know, not a very smart choice for killing sorrow. They are reminders of the things I miss, and further more, they are telling me to fight for the love. But, I can't fight my self. Maybe that's why I'm sad tonight...