Good Bye?

This might be goodbye. I don't feel it anymore. It's as if I have nothing more to say. I find less and less reasons to get out of bead. And no, it's not depression, but I am afraid that if I get sucked into cyberspace once more, it might just become that.

I borrowed the photo from my cousins blog, cause it looks kind of like how I feel at the moment!

I tried to go away once, and it didn't work - just couldn't stay away. Having the need to tell everybody that I am going away, probably will spell out failure again, but what can I do? I'm just being me.

If I don't come back, bare in mind that I had a great time with you, my lovely friends, sharing thoughts and photos and such. If I manage to stay away, I will miss you. Hugs!

The Loner

I've often been told the saying - a picture is worth a 1000 words, but seeing as I am someone that loves to talk, I never believed it. But today, I can tell you that nothing has ever been closer to the truth.

This is a picture taken at the damn-bridge in Struga, this winter. I call it "The Loner". I feel kind of alone. Like the whole day is... empty.

It's a Beautiful Morning

It is a beautiful morning, and after a while, I can feel it. It is time for some positive energy to flow around and give smiles to people. That's what I was thinking about when I woke up a little less then an hour ago. There aren't enough smiles in the world.

And don't get me wrong, my attitude towards life and the world hasn't changed, but I decided to look at things from a different perspective today. At least today. I mean, when is the last time that a couple of smiles hurt anybody?

Hugs! :)

Calm Waters

I remember some verses from Tupac Shakur that said:

"Ain't nothing meant to lest forever,
so the struggling and the suffering ain't gonna lest forever"

But when are the calm waters coming? When will I be able to sit down, relax and say - finally, it's all over?

In the meantime, I wrote another poem. Don't ask me why...

Seriously, does anyone else ever had the feeling that they are stuck between the point where everything will be OK, and the point of total collapse and they will never get out of it? Because I have that feeling for a while now. And can't seem to shake it. I can't...

I say good morning to you all, and I hope that you have a way better day than me.

Hugs!

Visit Macedonia

My country is actually small. It's about 25.000 square km in total. But it is beautiful. A lot of nice places to visit. Mountains, lakes, old monuments...

So, if you are wondering about an exotic destination for your holiday, don't hesitate anymore. Visit Macedonia. It'll give you some wonderful memories and I think a new perspective on life! :)

Thanks For the Support!

I posted a poll about a week ago, asking if I should continue blogging, cause I wasn't sure, to tell you the truth. The poll is now closed. Thanks to all of you who voted, thanks to those who didn't as well. And most of all, thanks for the confidence. It means a lot to me that you all think I should go on writing my thoughts. It really does! Hugs! :)

It is a beautiful Saturday morning and I can't think of one thing to complain about. Maybe the absence of things to complain about is a thing to complain about! :P Just kidding. I think it's gonna be a nice day today. Make sure you enjoy every second of it!

Good night cruel world :)

Someone once told me that the night is darkest just before the dawn. Couldn't believe it then, can't believe it now. I mean, OK, I know about the real night, I just don't buy the metaphor! Sure, it's motivating and all, but, one has to ask one's self - when is the god damn dawn coming, if anytime!

Nah, this is not a pissed off post. Hell no! :) It's just that I've always been mad at those people that talk about stuff they have never experienced. They talk about sorow when they've never been sad, they speak of love, and have never seen love...

All I want to say is - good night cruel world. I know you'll be much more cruel tomorrow. Cheers! :)

Some Kind of a New Start

I kind of got fed up with everything in this past week, and so, I even stopped blogging. Maybe it was hard to find the point in it all. But, never mind that, what is important, I am back and I am going to be blogging my ass off, sort of speak.

The week end of traveling is over, and now, back to work, back to the same old problems. I had some trouble with my PC, so I want to buy a new one. But, here comes the dillema: Should one buy a laptop or a desktop? My budget is around $400, and for that price, there are some respectible configurations in the case of desktops, and some pretty fine laptop models. Want to share your opinion? Any advice would be welcomed.

Hugs! :)

Is It Worth It?

Is it all worth it? I'm talking about all the things we do. This post is going to be quite the rambling one, a kind of rant, something that is on my mind, but I can't quite classify it. It is something undetermined, and if you are not up to it, you don't have to read it. But, on the other hand, you never have to read ;) it's a free world (or so I've been told).

So, is it worth it? All the work we do? Going to work, coming home, making money, spending money, blogging, ad sense affiliate, etc. I can't even see the end of it all. And for what? I understand that it is a cliche and all, but, are we just slaves to our own faults, to money? What happened to love? Is it still here? Or did we sell it when we sold our souls for what ever reason? Damn it!

I kind of lost my thought here. My head is a mess, and I don't even know why am I writing at all. I had a dream last night. I was there, by the lake, in the most beautiful town on Earth. All the people I've ever loved were there, except for one person that I love the most and whom without I don't think I can live. Honestly! And everyone spoke to me, it was like the world revolved around my littleness, and the assumption was that I am happy. But I wasn't. I wanted everything to end as quickly as possible. There was something missing and I knew what it was. I just didn't want anyone else to know about it. I was so relieved when I woke up.

Actually, I'm not sure what I wanted to say...

Sadness

I am sad. Tonight I was suppose to be in the arms that I love the most in the whole world, the only pair that makes me feel I can touch the sky, swim across all the oceans, run across all the lands, feel safe at all times. Tonight I was suppose to be with my love, but I am not. As sometimes happens, I ended up alone for the night, and being the person that I am, I feel empty inside. I always get atached to people to quickly, and when they are unable to be with me, I get sad. I know, this is not smart. But it's just the way I am...

To kill the sadness, I turned to Pink Floyd. I am listening to "Hey You" and "Wish You Were Here". I know, not a very smart choice for killing sorrow. They are reminders of the things I miss, and further more, they are telling me to fight for the love. But, I can't fight my self. Maybe that's why I'm sad tonight...